Empathy

Empathy, the ability to put oneself in another's place and feel as that person would be expected to feel in the particular situation, has been highly researched by child psychologists and developmental theorists. This ability is thought to emerge during the second year by some theorist. Others have viewed it as "a innate potential", such as learning language, as it is linked to social cognition. Social cognition is the cognitive ability to understand that others have mental states. This lends to the ability to gauge feelings and intentions, which can lead to empathy. When prosocial behaviors, such as turn-taking, giving items back when taken from others, giving "gentle" touches, etc., are promoted then empathy can be seen in the toddler years when children are typically viewed as more egocentric and less aware of others intentions/feelings.

To promote these types of behaviors first remember that your toddler is not "bad" when they are taking items, hitting, etc. Stay calm when reacting to these types of behaviors. Simply state how the other person is feeling when your child behaves in an "unsocial" manner  and gently show your child how to appropriately correct the situation. Remember that behaving in a socially accepted manner is a new skill for your child, just like learning to talk or write, so you have to be patient and teach them what is acceptable behavior. It helps if you teach through empathizing with your child!

 For example, your toddler is at a playground and takes an item from another child. Calmly walk over to your child, get on his or her's eye level and state something to the affect (use wording you are comfortable with as children can easily see through you if you appear unnatural!) "Oh, I saw you take that from them. (appear as sad and disappointed as possible, but not angry) Look at their face. Do you see how sad they are? I can see they are frowning and crying. They are sad because you took that toy from them. What could you do to help them feel better?" Your child will mostly not know how to respond at first but as you go through situations like this over and over again they will become comfortable in correcting their own social problems. "Give the toy back to them. That will make them happy again." You may have to encourage this a lot at first (this takes LOTS of patience...hang in there!). After your child gives the toy back follow up with a redirection, such as showing them how to find a similar item or how to ask for a turn. This can be done with very young toddlers with the right patience.

Please share your recent situations/frustrations regarding social situations you have been in with your young child. We can discuss how to best approach specific social situations to encourage empathy and other prosocial behaviors.

Toddler Language Development Video

http://youtu.be/fCl3LSEJRig

This toddler is very talkative....good luck understanding what she is saying. You can tell by the child's face that even her mom's interpretations are very wrong! Although this video makes the point that toddlers often babble, and use expressive jargon to communicate to adults who simply do not get it hilarious, it can often times be very frustrating for your child and for you. Stay tuned for more ideas on how to promote language development and easy some of the frustration in the toddler world of language!

Language Development in Infancy

http://youtu.be/X2KV3il-dBs

This video clearly demonstrates how to play with an infant in a manner that is not only engaging for the infant (probably gets old for the adult) but also reinforces the infant's language development. The infant and adult are both using "cooing" as a form of communication. This is the foundation of how children learn the "your turn then my turn" of a conversation.

Try having many of the "conversations" with your infant. Go further, too, and speak with your infant about what is happening in their environment while allowing them to have their end of the "conversation". For example, as you are holding the infant in your arms getting ready to lay them down to change their diaper: "I'm going to lay you down for a diaper." (PAUSE) Infant may or may not respond physically or with cooing. "Let's pull your pants down." (PAUSE) Infant may or may not respond. Adult notices child is looking up a the ceiling. "Hmmm I see you looking up there. What do you see?" (PAUSE). Infant may or may not respond.....I think you get the picture! This type of "conversation" is simple and it connects to the everyday events that your infant is already a part of, which not only promotes language development but also cognitive and social development.

Using Developmental Milestones

Please keep in mind that all children develop differently! On the "pages" tabs you will find some basic milestones of typical development in the four areas of development I have posted (language, emotional, social, and cognitive). Typical development is a starting place to look at. Simply because your child does not met one of the milestones in their age range does not mean they are behind in their development. You may see that they are ahead in some areas and behind in others. This is normal. However, if your child is behind in many areas you may want to raise your concerns with your pediatrician. In my experience as an early childhood educator, a child who is behind the typical developmental range often has a simple medical condition, such as a hearing or vision issue that needs to be corrected. Once corrected the child is able to hit milestones in a "typical" manner. This is, of course, not always the case. However, the sooner you have all the information about your child the sooner you can have an action plan that will allow your child to develop in the way that is best fit for them. Child development is not a one size fits all! Check in often for more information on how to use the basic milestones in each section to better understand your child's development. This will include ideas for ways of playing with your child - activities, if you will -  that will encourage various areas of development.

This is the beginning

Please bear with me as I start this venture! New information will be added daily as I lay the ground work. Please feel free to write any specific questions you have and I will get them answered ASAP. Check back often!