Giving Toddlers "Jobs"

In my last post, "The Toddler Creed...", I mentioned that you can help ease challenging behavior that your toddler may be expressing by giving them tasks. This video is a great example of how to engage your child in a tasks that revolves around the families daily life. The more you allow your child to do that is with in their capabilities, the less they feel the need to control or gain power over because they already feel like they have power in their world.

http://youtu.be/xbYBaj9H-Eg

"The Toddler Creed" and ways to DEAL with it!

If I want it,
IT'S MINE!

If I give it to you and change my mind later,
IT'S MINE!

If I can take it away from you,
IT'S MINE!

If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else,
No matter what.
If we are building something together,
All the pieces are mine!

If it looks just like mine,
IT'S MINE!






Toddlers are VERY egocentric beings; they do not have the capacity to understand another's perspective (i.e. that someone else might want that toy). To help with this specific problem look at the post about EMPATHY. Taking the time to talk with you toddler about other's needs/wants goes along way! 


Being egocentric trickles into other behavior problems that are typically associated with toddlers, such as temper tantrums and refusing to do as you ask. This is because part of being an egocentric toddler is learning that you have control over your environment. That's right folks, it is actually -  developmentally speaking -  your toddler's job to behave in those less than desirable ways! Here are some simple ways to ease your life and your toddlers: 

• Be consistent - 
•  If you say no, you have to ALWAYS mean no. 
• Also, be consistent in how you enforce requests. 
• Offer a choice - 
• Make sure you are okay with either option 
• This gives your child a sense of control without you losing it!
• Try not to interrupt your child's play - 
• If you have to, give a warning first 
• Wait a few moments before you repeat a request 
• Remind your child of your expectations BEFORE  - 
• "We are going into the store. We are only buying what is on the list. I expect for you to use an inside voice while you help me find these items." 
• Give your child a job or task 
• This creates a sense of accomplishment and a sense of belonging 
• See above example
• Expect less self-control during stressful times 
• Close to nap, meals, going to the doctor, moving, etc. 

Using Developmental Milestones

Please keep in mind that all children develop differently! On the "pages" tabs you will find some basic milestones of typical development in the four areas of development I have posted (language, emotional, social, and cognitive). Typical development is a starting place to look at. Simply because your child does not met one of the milestones in their age range does not mean they are behind in their development. You may see that they are ahead in some areas and behind in others. This is normal. However, if your child is behind in many areas you may want to raise your concerns with your pediatrician. In my experience as an early childhood educator, a child who is behind the typical developmental range often has a simple medical condition, such as a hearing or vision issue that needs to be corrected. Once corrected the child is able to hit milestones in a "typical" manner. This is, of course, not always the case. However, the sooner you have all the information about your child the sooner you can have an action plan that will allow your child to develop in the way that is best fit for them. Child development is not a one size fits all! Check in often for more information on how to use the basic milestones in each section to better understand your child's development. This will include ideas for ways of playing with your child - activities, if you will -  that will encourage various areas of development.